Quotes on Men that make Women laugh

Men think they are more important than women because their jackets have secret inside pockets.- Rita Rudner

The difference between a man and a woman is that a battery has a positive side. -Jo Brand

Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.- Rita Rudner

Men are like car alarms- they both make a lot of noise no one listens to. -Diane Jordan

Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture. -Rita Rudner

A woman's a woman until she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.-Moms Mabley

Men read maps better than women because only a male mind could conceive of an inch equalling a hundred miles. -Roseanne

A man without a woman is like a moose without a hat-rack.- Arthur Marshall

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. When men are depressed, they in

vade another country.- Elayne Boosler

A man at his desk in a room with a closed door is a man at work. A woman at a desk in any room is available. -Marya Mannes

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beg

inning of the end.

Nowadays, the only place a single woman can find the best man is at a wedding.

A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

Marital Freedom- The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases. - Anonymous

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. - Anonymous

Man is defined as a human being and woman as a female - whenever she behaves as a human being she is said to imitate the male.

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. - Ray Bandy

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. - Rose Franken

All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult. - Anonymous

A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle. - Baudelaire

By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.- Socrates

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