Having your ex as your colleague
Having your ex as a co-worker in your company can be a very awkward situation, especially when all your colleagues know about your relationship.
There can be another angle to this type of a situation. You join a new company only to find out that your ex is your boss or a co-worker.
In both the situations, it is important to behave normally and professionally. If your break-up was recent, tell your ex that past was past and that you should behave as normal colleagues without giving any hint to anyone about your relationship.
When colleagues are aware about the affair, they tend to take sides post break-up and it becomes the top story in office for a few days. Some of them may even avoid the two of you simply because it may become a trouble for them to be with either one of you for the sake of friendship. To avoid that, do not reveal the break-up story to everyone instantly. Take time and once when everyone is together for lunch, tell them straightway that you and your partner are not together now and no one should ask ‘why, what happened’. Tell them it’s your personal matter.
Now what else should be taken care of when your ex becomes your colleague? There are a few things to remember-
Get over your break-up: It will take some time to get over your break-up. In case your ex happens to be in the same office and you feel it will be difficult for you to face him, take a break and go on some vacation. During vacation, try to get over him by telling yourself that he was your past. Think about lovely things in life and make more friends. Tell yourself firmly that you have to move on and not linger on past memories.
Have a face-to-face talk with your ex: Before you join office, have a clear talk with your ex regarding your professional relations. Ask him/her to behave as professionals and not do small talk. Decide how you want to have your relations in office. You are the best person to judge your colleagues and decide how you want to keep your relationship ahead.
If required, talk to your boss: If the need arises, tell your boss about your break-up with your partner and ask him to keep it in mind while giving away projects or forming teams. This will save you from unwanted awkwardness. This will also be beneficial if your ex likes to do small talk about you. Your boss would know his/her intentions and will not be affected by them.
Avoid discussing sensitive and controversial topics: If you happen to be in the same group as your ex at lunch, do not feel awkward. Just remember not to talk on sensitive issues like break-up, emotions and affairs. Many people tend to talk about such issues to give an answer to their ex. But this will not make him answer or get your point, it will only add some spice to your break-up story that no one but your colleagues will enjoy.
Give some time to the new professional relationship: Sometimes your tears may flow when you see your ex getting close with some other colleague. Or you may look at him and think about how lovely your love life was. Sometimes it may become difficult for you to continue in the same office but you need to give time to this new professional relationship. You and your ex cannot get over the past in one day. So do not hurt him/her by trying to make new relationships or ignoring him completely. Remember both of you are in the same boat and both of you need to give time to each other to get over the past.
In worse case, you may just resign and join some other place but remember that your ex may become your colleague else where too. So face it to get over it.